A Guide to Nepali Kinship Titles
Khem Gautam
Norway
Why titles instead of names
Traditionally, Nepali extended families lived close together, and saying an elder’s name aloud was considered disrespectful. Over generations, the community developed a precise system of titles instead. One word tells you who a relative is, where they were born in their family, which generation they belong to, and how they are connected to you.
This guide describes the kinship titles of the Bhutanese hill tradition. Other Nepali communities often use the same titles, but some use equivalent terms for the same relationship, and usage can differ from region to region and even from family to family.
This guide is original work. No published or online source we could find describes the system in this detail, so it was constructed from family knowledge, verified by editors, and reviewed with elder members of the community.
A title combines up to six pieces of information: birth order, elder or younger, generation, side of the family, gender, and marriage. Each section below explains one piece, with relatives by marriage covered generation by generation, and the last sections show how they fit together.
1. Birth order
Every child carries a title for their place in the birth order, and it stays with them for life. Sons and daughters are counted separately, so a family can have both a jeṭho, the eldest son, and a jeṭhī, the eldest daughter.
| Position | Son | Daughter |
| 1st | Jeṭho | Jeṭhī |
| 2nd | Māilo | Māilī |
| 3rd | Sāĩlo | Sāĩlī |
| 4th | Kāĩlo | Kāĩlī |
| 5th | Antare | Antarī |
| 6th | Jantare | Jantarī |
| 7th | Mantare | Mantarī |
| 8th | Lakhantare | Lakhantarī |
| Youngest | Kānchho | Kānchhī |
The youngest title moves. Whoever is born last is kānchho or kānchhī, but only until another child of the same sex arrives. Then the newborn takes the title, and the previous youngest receives the next fixed title in the list. A family with three sons has a jeṭho, a māilo and a kānchho. If a fourth son is born, the old kānchho becomes sāĩlo, and the baby is the new kānchho. In front of another title, a son’s title changes its ending from -o to -ā: jeṭhā māmā, māilā baḍā, kānchhā kākā. This change depends on position, not gender; a daughter’s title keeps its -ī: māilī phupū.
Titles beyond the eighth are rarely heard.
2. Elder or younger
The second piece says whether a relative is older or younger. In your own generation, it is measured against you. In your parents’ generation, it is measured against your parent.
| Elder | Younger | |
| Your brother | Dāju | Bhāi |
| Your sister | Didī | Bahinī |
In older generations, the marker is built into the title itself and measured against your parent: baḍā is your father’s elder brother, and kākā his younger brother. Some relatives, such as phupū and māmā, have no marker at all. See section 3, Generation, below for the full table.
3. Generation
The third piece tells you which generation a relative belongs to. The words change as you move up the family tree.
In every generation, the birth order always joins the title, in front of it. This holds whether or not the title carries an elder-or-younger marker: māilā baḍā and kānchhā kākā in your parents’ generation, jeṭhā māmā and māilī phupū on either side, and sāĩlā bā in your grandparents’ generation. The titles in the tables below are the base words; in use, each one takes its birth order.
Your generation
In your own generation, every title is measured against you. For a relative by marriage with no specific term, it is always safe to use the title your spouse uses, and this is fast becoming the norm.
Cousins carry a prefix that shows which line links them to you (section 4 explains the rule). A male and a female cousin on the same line share the prefix, and so do their spouses. In each cell, the first word is for someone older than you and the second for someone younger.
| Line | Man | His wife | Woman | Her husband | Branch |
| Your brothers and sisters | Dāju / Bhāi | Bhāuju / Buhārī | Didī / Bahinī | Bhināju / Jwāĩ | Main line |
| Cousins through men only (ghar ko) | Ghar ko Dāju / Bhāi | Ghar ko Bhāuju / Buhārī | Ghar ko Didī / Bahinī | Ghar ko Bhināju / Jwāĩ | Main line |
| Cousins through your father’s sister (bāhun) | Bāhun Dāju / Bhāi | Bāhun Bhāuju / Buhārī | Bāhun Didī / Bahinī | Bāhun Bhināju / Jwāĩ | Branch through a woman |
| Cousins through your mother (maulī) | Maulī Dāju / Bhāi | Maulī Bhāuju / Buhārī | Maulī Didī / Bahinī | Maulī Bhināju / Jwāĩ | Branch through mother |
Bahinī jwāĩ is the precise form for a younger sister’s husband, since the husbands of all younger family members are called jwāĩ. The siblings of your brother’s or sister’s spouse are all solṭī (solṭinī for a woman), with no elder-or-younger marker.
Your spouse’s family
| Relationship | Elder than your spouse | Younger than your spouse | Note |
| Wife’s brother | Jeṭhān | Sālo | Counted from your wife, not from you |
| Wife’s sister | Jeṭhī Sāsū | Sālī | |
| Wife’s brother’s wife | Jeṭhānī Didī | Sālī Buinī | |
| Husband’s brother | Jeṭhāju | Devar | Counted from your husband, not from you |
| Husband’s sister | Āmājū | Nanda | |
| Husband’s brother’s wife | Jeṭhānī | Deurānī |
Your spouse’s parents and elders
| Relationship | Title | Note |
| Spouse’s father | Sasurā | |
| Spouse’s mother | Sāsū | |
| Spouse’s other elder relatives | Sasurā or Sāsū + the title your spouse uses | e.g. baḍā sasurā, phupū sāsū; the order can also be reversed |
For your spouse’s other elders, you are safe to add sasurā (for a man) or sāsū (for a woman) to the title your spouse uses for them. For example, your spouse’s grand-uncle can be called sasurā bā, since bā is the term your spouse uses for him.
Your parents’ generation
In your parents’ generation, your father’s brothers are baḍā or kākā, and his sisters phupū. Your mother’s brothers are māmā, and her sisters ṭhūlīāmā and sānīāmā.
The pattern. The system follows the father’s line, and counts the women in each line. A line through men only is the main line, your father’s ghar or house, and is named in full, exactly like his own brothers and sisters. A line that passes through one woman is a branch and takes a prefix that marks the link: bāhun through your father’s sister, maulī through a mother. A line that passes through two women is a minor branch: no prefix survives, and the relationship fades. Spouses follow the same pattern.
| Line | Man | His wife | Woman | Her husband | Branch |
| Your father’s siblings, and his cousins through his father’s brother | Baḍā (also Baḍābā) / Kākā | Baḍīmā / Kākī | Phupū | Phupāju | Main line |
| Your father’s cousins through his father’s sister (bāhun) | Bāhun Bā | Bāhunī Āmā | Bāhunī Phupū | Bāhunī Phupāju | Branch through a woman |
| Your father’s cousins on his mother’s side (maulī) | Maulī Bā | Maulī Āmā | Maulī Phupū | Maulī Bhināju | Branch through a woman |
| Your mother’s siblings | Māmā | Māijū | Ṭhūlīāmā / Sānīāmā | Ṭhūlo Bā / Sānā Bā | Branch through your mother |
| Your mother’s cousins, on either side | Māmā | Māijū | Ṭhūlīāmā / Sānīāmā | Ṭhūlo Bā / Sānā Bā | No prefix; through her mother, a minor branch |
Where a cell has two words, the first is for a relative older than your parent and the second for one younger. The elder-or-younger marker survives only on your father’s house line and among the women on your mother’s side.
In your parents’ generation, the prefix is the one your father uses. His bāhun dāju is your bāhun bā, and his maulī dāju is your maulī bā.
In your parents’ generation, the elder-or-younger marker and the generation combine into one term. Baḍā already means “father’s elder brother,” and kākā “father’s younger brother,” so no separate word for elder or younger is needed. On your mother’s side, you can see the two pieces inside the word: ṭhūlī (elder) and sānī (younger) join āmā to make ṭhūlīāmā and sānīāmā, and the same happens with ṭhūlo bā and sānā bā.
Your mother’s cousins through her mother are a minor branch, because the line passes through two women. No prefix survives: they take the same words as her own brothers and sisters, but they are hardly counted as main relatives. At this distance a marriage may take place, which never happens within the main line or its branches. This is the result of an old patriarchal tradition, which traced kinship through the father’s line and let links through women fade.
How the branches rank. Your father’s relations are always kept at a higher order:
- Your father’s male line ranks highest. Every line through men only counts as direct family, even out to seventh or eighth cousins. Everyone on the main line keeps your surname, and that is how you know you are on it. Each time a line passes through a woman, the surname changes, and the more often it changes, the less significant the relationship becomes.
- Your mother’s branch, your māmālā or māmā‘s house, is the closest branch at first cousins: your māmā’s children are closer than your phupū‘s. But it fades fastest. Second cousins through your māmālā rank below second cousins on your father’s side.
- Your father’s sister’s branch (bāhun) is less close at first cousins, but because it stays on your father’s side, it fades more slowly.
- Your father’s cousins through his mother (maulī bā) are the last significant branch.
- Your mother’s branches through other women are the least important in cousin order.
So not all second cousins are treated equally in this tradition. It may seem unfair, but this is how the system works: a person may marry a third cousin on a line that branches through women, but not a tenth cousin on the same male line.
Your grandparents’ generation
In your grandparents’ generation, your paternal grandfather’s brothers are all bā. At this level, the elder-or-younger marker disappears. A grandfather’s brother is bā whether he was older or younger than your grandfather, and only his birth order sets him apart: māilā bā, sāĩlā bā, kānchhā bā. Some families use hajurbā or bāje instead. Būḍhābā was once common in the hills but is rarely heard these days.
From your grandparents’ generation upward, the mother’s side is no longer named separately.
| Relationship | Elder than your grandfather | Younger than your grandfather |
| Paternal grandfather’s brother | Bā | Bā |
| Paternal grandfather’s sister | Phupū Āmā | Phupū Āmā |
Spouses in your grandparents’ generation
| Relationship | Elder than your grandfather | Younger than your grandfather |
| Wife of a bā | Āmā | Āmā |
| Husband of your grandfather’s sister | Phupāju Bā | Phupāju Bā |
4. Side of the family
The fourth piece tells you how a relative is connected to you. The father’s side and the mother’s side use different words, and for cousins, a prefix shows which line links you.
The father’s side. Your father’s brothers are baḍā and kākā, and his sisters are phupū.
The mother’s side. Your mother’s brothers are māmā. Her male cousins are also māmā, each ranked by birth order in his own family. So if your mother’s brother and her cousin are each the eldest in their family, both are your jeṭhā māmā. Your mother’s elder sister is ṭhūlīāmā, and her younger sister sānīāmā.
Cousins. Cousins are called brother and sister, dāju, bhāi, didī and bahinī, but a prefix shows how they are related. The rule is that the woman in the chain decides the prefix:
| Connection | Prefix | Example |
| Through men only, such as your father’s brother’s children | Ghar ko | Ghar ko Dāju |
| Through your mother’s side | Maulī | Maulī Didī |
| Through a father’s sister | Bāhun | Bāhun Bhāi |
| Through your parents Maulī | buḍho Maulī | Represents house (Ghar); not a relational prefix |
No prefix is added while the line runs through men. Your father’s father’s father, and everyone descended from him through sons, belongs to your ghar. A prefix appears only where the line branches off through a woman: maulī through your mother, and bāhun through your father’s sister.
The same rule works one generation up. Your father’s cousins on his mother’s side are your maulī bā, and his cousins through his father’s sister are your bāhun bā. Like the grandfather’s brothers, they carry bā and birth order, but no elder-or-younger marker.
5. Gender
Gender runs through every other piece. Sometimes the ending changes, and sometimes the word is entirely different.
| Male | Female | Change |
| Jeṭho, Kānchho | Jeṭhī, Kānchhī | masculine -o becomes feminine -ī |
| Antare, Jantare | Antarī, Jantarī | masculine -e becomes feminine -ī |
| Dāju, Bhāi | Didī, Bahinī | new word |
| Baḍā, Kākā (father’s brothers) | Phupū (father’s sisters) | new word, no elder/younger marker |
| Māmā (mother’s brothers) | Ṭhūlīāmā, Sānīāmā (mother’s sisters) | new word, elder/younger marker added |
Two different changes affect the ending -o. The gender change turns a masculine -o into a feminine -ī: jeṭho becomes jeṭhī. The position change, described under Birth order, turns a masculine -o into -ā when the title stands before another title: jeṭho becomes jeṭhā in jeṭhā māmā. Feminine titles keep -ī in both positions.
Younger relatives are easier
The titles matter most for elders, because elders are not called by name. Younger relatives can simply be described through their parent or grandparent, by adding ko chorā (son of), ko chorī (daughter of), or ko nāti and ko nātinī (grandson and granddaughter of).
Unlike elders, younger relatives can also simply be called by their name. The titles below are for describing them to others, or for when you want to be more formal.
So a cousin’s child might be māilā baḍā ko nāti or māilā baḍā ko nātinī, “your māilā baḍā‘s grandson” or “granddaughter,” and a young cousin kānchhā kākā ko chorī, “your kānchhā kākā‘s daughter.” The elder’s title is used to locate the younger relative in the family.
Some common younger titles you should know are below. They carry no elder-or-younger marker.
| Relationship | Title |
| Son/daughter | Chorā / Chorī |
| Grandson/granddaughter | Nāti / Nātinī |
| Your brother’s son/daughter, when you are their baḍā or kākā | Bhatijā / Bhatijī |
| Your brother’s son/daughter, when you are their phupū | Bhadā / Bhadai |
| Your sister’s son/daughter, when you are their māmā (or your husband’s sister’s, when you are their māijū) | Bhānjā / Bhānjī |
| Your sister’s son/daughter, when you are their ṭhūlīāmā or sānīāmā | Chorā / Chorī, as for your own children |
| Son’s wife | Buhārī |
| Daughter’s husband | Jwāĩ |
| Your cousin’s child, when you are their maulī bā | Bāhun Nānī |
| Your cousin’s child, when you are their bāhun bā | Maulī Nānī |
The reverse of bā is nānī, and the prefix flips: the reverse of maulī is bāhun. So a maulī bā calls you bāhun nānī, and a bāhun bā calls you maulī nānī.
Putting it together
In practice, the pieces combine into a single title. Read each one from left to right: birth order first, then the relationship.
| Title | Pieces | Who it is |
| Māilā Baḍā | 2nd-born + elder than father | Your father’s second-born elder brother |
| Kānchhā Kākā | youngest + younger than father | Your father’s youngest brother |
| Jeṭhā Māmā | 1st-born + mother’s side | Your mother’s eldest brother, or her eldest male cousin |
| Māilā Bā | 2nd-born + grandfather’s generation | Your grandfather’s second-born brother |
| Kānchhā Maulī Bā | youngest + maulī link + father’s cousin | The youngest of your father’s male cousins on his mother’s side |
Example: who is sāĩlā bā? Sāĩlā means third-born, and bā means a man of your paternal grandfather’s generation. He is the third son in that family. Since he is not called kānchhā, at least one more son was born after him, so there were at least four brothers.
Example: who is kāĩlā maulī bā? Kāĩlā means fourth-born, maulī means the link runs through your father’s mother’s side, and bā means a man of your father’s generation. He is one of your father’s male cousins on his mother’s side, the fourth son in his own family. Since he is not called kānchhā, at least one more son was born after him, so there were at least five brothers.
Example: who is jantare bāhun dāju? Jantare means sixth-born, bāhun means the link runs through your father’s sister, and dāju means a man of your own generation who is older than you. He is your phupū‘s son, the sixth son in his family. Since he is not called kānchho, at least one more son was born after him, so there were at least seven brothers.
Family tree
Family tree · titles seen from you
Read down for generations and across for siblings.
How well do you know Nepali family titles?
Ten questions, drawn from twenty, on birth order, generation, the two sides of the family, and relatives by marriage. They get harder as you go, and each right answer adds a tika.