गजल-१४
एक आपसमा दाजुभाइ लडेर मर्न नपरोस्
यसै गरी वैमनस्यताको बिउ छर्न नपरोस्
बनाउनु छ हामीले समानताको समाज
ठूलासंग सानाले पछि सर्न नपरोस्
हिंसारहित समाज बनाउनुछ हामीले
साम्प्रदायिक युद्ध हामीले गर्न नपरोस्
नमुना समाज बनाई उदाहरणीय बन्नुपर्छ
हिंसाका समाचारले कान भर्न नपरोस्
Devi Ji !!
Really outstanding gazal. The interpretation of facts is precisely very sounding. Today, even our towered figures have started to writing the impressive creation which is not good. In contrast to this phenomenon you have illustrated the expression as the basis of writing in the gazal.
Our eyes today are quite antagonistic to our minds in various grounds subjectified as in your gazal. To speak the truth, the impressive writing, having known never good, is rulling the whim of our literature. We need to counter it by just writing and writing………!
This is the first time I got this chance to glace over your gazal writing. Putting many good ones aside you have cropped up with gazal like a real modern gazal except you seem bit less rhythemic.
If you improve this factor of your writing (basically the internal features of gazal writing) you will certainly attract the musician under this stream. You are in the absolute format for time being. I hope you will keep writing gazal backed by reading. I also request you to go through the analogy of gazal writing in my blog http://www.puranaghare.wordpress.com (Bhupali Gazal Ek Jhalak), this analysis of gazal writing in the page is certain to boost you up.
The seeds I am seeing on you seem very dynamic and versatile either. I am just collecting some specific words to describe your writing. Keep gearing and we will meet with out any pretext of exception.
I adore your talents, so go ahead and conquer the universe.
Devi pokhrelji . i like your expressions that you have used .The most important thing you raised the topic are the conflicts between brotherhood, anxiety ,and free discrimination society . These elements are the keys to lead the fair and peaceful society. Thus, i am always come to grips with such a magnificent ideology as your Gazal spoke.
Devi ji ! sorry , i did mistake here in this expressions- The most important things you raised the topic are the conflicts between brotherhood, anxiety and fear(discriminated) society. These elements are not suitable in this modern era .so , we must eradicate from our mind and cultivate clean and fair society . Now this makes a perfect society with full of harmony. Your Gazal is awesome .Cheers up !!